Sharpening my parenting skills

I've never really worried about my ability to handle children. I've been around kids all my life. Almost every job I ever had in high school and college was in childcare. My oldest brother has 3 kids, and my other brother has 2. I love kids! I was definitely made to be a mom. At least that's what I always thought.


Lately, I've been getting a little worried about my parenting skills. Sarah Beth doesn't seem to be very responsive to my instruction. I've tried everything to get through to her, but nothing seems to work. I understood when she was just a baby fetus, but now she's almost full grown. In 2 months, she'll be out of the womb and on her own. It's time she learned some respect. The doctor tells me that she can hear noises now and can distinguish my voice from others. However, she doesn't listen to ANYTHING I say. I can tell she is going to be a wild child for sure.

The good news is, all of her limbs are fully functional and getting stronger every day. The bad news is, she has recently taken up kickboxing. She's good at it, too. Her morning routine starts around 5-6 am, and lasts until I finally give up and get out of bed. Then she naps. After lunch, when I lie down to try to take a nap, she starts her kickboxing lessons, and those go until I finally give up and get out of bed. Then she naps again. She doesn't have a normal evening routine. Every night, she just waits patiently until I go to bed to begin practicing the moves she learned that day. The only way to get her to stop is to tell Jack that she is kicking and ask if he wants to feel. That usually sends her into a comatose state until he gives up and goes back to what he was doing.

At first, it was so wonderful to feel her moving around in there. Now I just wish I had a way to tranquilize her. I would get so excited when she first started moving; it was such a special bond between the two of us. The I realized what she was really up to. She's just waiting for me to get a little sleepy, then as soon as I lie down, BAM BAM BAM, she's trying to bust her way out. A real cute little game. So I tried being nice first. I gently explained to her that when mommy is trying to sleep, she needs to be real still so I can rest. She responded with a swift kick to my ribs.

Can you believe this kid?? So disrespectful. I provide her with a nice, warm home, feed her every couple of hours, and what do I get in return? Burning acid reflux, leg cramps and to top it all off, she's now made me her own personal punching bag.

Sometimes I worry that she may be a little too young to start spanking, but I certainly don't want to spoil her. You know what they say, spare the rod... When people ask me, would I rather, as a parent, be feared or loved? The answer is easy...both. I want my kids to be afraid of how much they love me.

Me at 11 weeks, still looking

super cute in my regular jeans.

Me at 22 weeks, in my elastic pants and
loose-fitting shirt, very proud of my growth.


















My hump, my hump, my lovely lady lump at 31 weeks.
No such thing as a loose-fitting shirt.

Anyway, the long-awaited photos have arrived, as promised. Old friends that I haven't seen in a while have been asking if I'm big yet. For goodness sake, I'm 7 months pregnant. I fit the requirements for a beluga whale; I mean, come on.

Beluga Whale

Size comparison between a regular-sized human and a beluga whale