Coca-Cola: Labels Out!

Okay, I've finally decided to join the AI fray with my two cents. Here's the Reader's Digest version of what I loved/hated:

I've been a fan of Ramiele, but last night was disappointing. It wasn't even a little pitchy for me, dawg. It was just off-key. Also, I didn't know the Wachutus were biters. Even Paula's elbow-length fingerless black gloves weren't loving it.

Castro's Spanish performance just wasn't good for me either. BORING.

Syesha was awesome. She was spot-on, and she's who I would vote for, if I cared enough to vote.

I'm still having a love affair with Brooke White. I love the piano, and I thought her rendition of the Police's "I'll be watching you" was great. And I don't know anything about singing talent.

Michael John's rendition of "We will Rock You/We are the Champions" brought back memories of my glory days on the Hebron basketball court. Remember those days, Meredith? They certainly were glorious.

While I've been back and forth with how I feel about Carly, last night's performance sealed her fate in my heart forever. I have a confession to make. I love "Total Eclipse of the Heart." It's one of my favorite songs ever. Isn't that sick? I love to sing it in the shower LOUDLY when Jack is not at home. I burned it on a CD once so I could listen to it in my car, but I threw it away in fear that someone would find it and make horrible fun of me. But now that it's out of the bag, perhaps I'll make another.

But I digress. I still love little David A., but who doesn't? And I wanted to punch David C. in the neck when I heard his rendition of MJ's BJ. When they announced that he would be singing Billie Jean, I got real excited, because I also happen to be a Michael Jackson fan.

When the music started, I thought to myself, "This must be a different song called Billie Jean." but it wasn't. it was just a horrible arrangement of the original. I just wanted him to sing it right. But Paula's gloves loved it; she even said she thought he could "beat this whole competition." Thanks for your always intelligent commentary, Paula.

While Jack wasn't crazy about the arrangement either, he was impressed with the vocals. He stretched out the final notes and "did some Steven Tyler 'stuff' with it" according to Jack. Jack then proceeded to pay David C the highest compliment he had:

"Only me and...well, I don't know anybody else that could have hit those notes like that."

Which leaves me with only one other contestant about whom I must blog. You know who I'm talking about. Kristy Lee Cook.

She cleverly played to America's sense of patriotism by singing about how she's proud to be an American. Maybe that will keep her out of the bottom 3? I hope not.

Never before has a display of American patriotism made me feel so sick to my stomach. Never before hippie-haired KLC's performance last night. I was puking red white and blue all evening. God bless the USA for voting her off the show and putting us all out of our misery.

I bet you thought you weren't getting one

Never fear, LT; I didn't forget you. And though the day is almost over, I've managed to find a few minutes to spit out a couple of rhymes for you. You can thank Jack for the help on the first stanza. I bleeped out the city name, since we are online. I wanted to protect your privacy, even though it rhymed way better with the actual name.

There once was a girl lived in BLEEPville
Who asked me to write something artful
I picked up my pen
And now once again
Like a Wal Mart, I've got you a cartful

This girl has long dark curly hair
When she passes all males turn to stare
But they're all mistaken,
Watch out boys, she's taken
J.R. must be walking on air

This girl she became quite a teacher
Her students would never impeach her
They never distrust
To please her-a must
If she got sick, they'd medicinal leech her

This girl shares my love of The Murry
If I miss an episode, not to worry
I'm sure LT saw it
I'm sure she will jaw it
Spare no detail, for I'm in no hurry

While she may be a bit OCD
I'm sure that you all will agree
She's kind and she's sweet
A pleasure to meet
Happy birthday, my precious LT

Hope you had a great birthday! SB got you a card, but we were a little busy with Easter festivities today. We will bring it over one day this week.

We're cousins, we're cousins

Today is LB's birthday!!!

You said all you wanted was a giant picture of yourself and a tribute limerick, so I found this picture from your wedding and made it as big as blogger would allow. At 8 1/2 months pregnant, I'm giant enough in the picture.

And this limerick, dear Laura, is for you.

We’re cousins we’re cousins we’re cousins
We had our boyfriends by the dozens
But they made you cry
I didn’t know why
But I can still say that we’re cousins

With a stick ‘round the house I would chase you
But my parents they always would come through
They spanked me a lot
My revenge I would plot
And then in the nursery I’d hit you

I’d scratch you all day till you bled
But then we look 10 years ahead
Scrunchys with a quarter
Braided belts on the corner
Ponytails on the sides of our heads

You wore your tank tops over t-shirt
With all your eye make-up, what a flirt
You moved far away
Miss you to this day
About our first boyfriend, I’m still hurt.

You walked down the aisle and then when
I tried really hard to give birth then
Your dad kept it short
My plan he did thwart
And Sarah Beth stayed deep within

When you get pregnant, I will too again
Our kids can grow up and be real good friends
I’m sure they will fight
But we turned out alright
Can’t wait for your really short children.

Happy birthday, dear cousin! I love you!

The Rime of the Ancient Meredith

I know you're probably all out celebrating St. Patricks Day, drinking green beer and pinching random strangers, but today is much more than SPD.


It's Meredith's birthday!


True story. So in honor of her, I've written a few short limericks to commemorate this momentous occasion. I realize the meter isn't perfect, but gimme a break. This is my first attempt at limericking.

Mere, I know you've been waiting all day for this, so I decided to post what I have before I'm actually through. There was so much more I wanted to say but couldn't fit into the limerick. Perhaps a more lengthy poem will follow, if SB's schedule will allow it. And now, a limerick.

There once was a girl from Mississippi
As a waitress she got lots of tippies
Took vic by the hand
Off to texas she ran
She’ll come back with a babe on her hippie.

This girl had two great girly siblings
With a basketball all could go dribbling
But who was the best
SBA was the test
And Mere left us all with no quibbling

This girl also had two big brothers
Who by far were unlike any others
They point at the mole
And then lose control
And leave Meredith saying Oh brother

Now Vic off to work in his blue jean
Left her with the stable to make clean
He gave her some boots
She turned up her snoot
He forgot she’s the homecoming queen

Terror in the Night

No, that is not the title of the latest Lifetime Original Movie. The terror in the story I am about to relay is very real. I am rating today's post TV14 for extreme violence and terrifying imagery.

I awoke last night around midnight to a strange sound coming from outside. As I struggled to gain consciousness, I thought I recognized the noise as gunfire. It was very loud and immediately conjured up the image of a masked gunman racing through the neighborhood, firing off rounds of a fully automatic machine gun.

Let me just interject quickly that yes, I am indeed a bit paranoid at times. I can't even stay alone at my own home at night. On the rare occasion when Jack is out of town, I have to have a babysitter. for myself, not SB.

But this was for real. I was fully awake, and I could hear the gunfire getting louder and louder as the gunman came closer and closer to our house. Maybe there was more than one crazed lunatic scampering through the streets. Perhaps dozens. I lay frozen in fear for a few minutes before getting out of bed to investigate.

I really didn't want to wake Jack because he had to get up early for work; perhaps if I tossed and turned enough, I would accidentally wake him. Then he would hear the noise too. So I rolled around a few times before getting out of bed, coughing and clearing my throat.

Worked like a charm.

Jack: What are you doing?

Me: (peering out the window) don't you hear that?

Jack: (pauses) no.

The gunmen must have moved over a few streets because the noise was barely audible at this point.

Me: There it is! Did you hear that?

Jack: no.

We went back and forth like this a few times until the gunmen headed back our way, and Jack finally heard the gun battle. He was not as worked up about it as I was, even though I made him get up and look out the window. Jack was convinced it was the neighbors playing Call of Duty with the volume turned all the way up, which was a viable explanation given our annoying neighbors. I, however, was certain something much more sinister was afoot.

Jack got back in bed, but told me that if it would make me feel better, I could call the police. I know he thought I was foolish for even worrying, but the noise was so loud! So I did my civic duty and called to report the violent activity. When the operator asked what the noise sounded like, I said it sounded like a jackhammer, because Jack made me promise that I would NOT tell the cops there was a machine gun battle going on in our neighborhood, even though I knew that's what it was.

So they sent a policeman to our street. I know this because I waited up for him. After the police sat in front of our house for about 30 seconds, the machine guns started up again, this time much closer, and the cop took off in the direction of the gunfire. I was very satisfied with myself, and began planning the interview with the newspapers that were certain to take place the next day. After all, who wouldn't want to talk to the brave person who saved the townspeople from the multitude of masked gunmen who were shooting up the neighborhood?

I hoped it wouldn't be long before the gunfire stopped. Who knew how many people were already dead or wounded? I scolded myself for not calling 911 when I first heard the shots.

A few minutes later, my phone rang. Perhaps our neighbors? Calling to make sure we were alright?

It was the police dispatcher, calling to let me know that the noise I was hearing was just our friendly neighborhood cement company, drilling the hardened concrete out of their trucks at one o'clock in the morning.

Well who looks foolish now? At first, I wanted to get Mr. Concrete around the throat for a few good minutes. But now I have a better idea. Revenge. I can see it now.

What's the matter sir? Noise wake you up? Oh, no need for concern, I'm just drilling this hardened concrete out of the back of my car. Yes, I realize it's after midnight; I've been told this is the best time for concrete removal. Terribly sorry about the noise. This should only take an hour or so.

Either that or waltz down his sidewalk with a jackhammer for a few hours. Same effect.

Winter Wonderland

The weatherman told us it was going to snow yesterday. We watched the weather channel all day. Every time the snow got close to us, it went north. I went to bed certain it wouldn't happen. Jack stayed up until one am waiting for it. He finally gave up.

Then, lo and behold, we woke up to whiteness this morning, if only for a few minutes! I was able to capture a photo or two before it all disappeared.

The view from an upstairs window.

Most of it landed on my car.

Who needs Colorado? Mississippi has all the snow you need right here.

A Tale of Two Teethies

SB's second bottom tooth finally broke through this week. I was relieved, as I was certain her fussy days were over. At least until another got ready to pop out.

When I went to retrieve her from her crib yesterday morning, I spotted the arrival of tooth #2. I danced her around the room with great joy and showered praises down upon her as I changed her diaper. Then I took her back to our room to show Jack and feed SB breakfast.

And then it happened. Everything was going fine, and then, I guess she got full and wanted to let me know. so she BIT me. While I was feeding her. All the love and attention and FOOD I give her. and this is how she repays me. It's like biting the hand that feeds you.

So there we were. I yelp in pain and hand her to Jack.

Jack: What's wrong?

Me: She bit me!

Jack: What? (laughing)

Me: (crying) She BIT me!

Jack: (still laughing) haha

Me: (still crying) It's not funny!

Jack: (to SB) your nursing days are over!

Me: I think I'm bleeding.

Unfortunately, SB has not been too interested in a bottle lately. A situation we must hasten to remedy.

I called my dear mother looking for some sympathy, and when I told her the story, she laughed. She then proceeded to tell my little sister, who was standing nearby. Her response? she laughed.

I'm noticing a common response here. When I told my other sister that SB bit me, she didn't get it right away. So I explained to her exactly what had happened. Then she laughed. I just can't wait until you have kids, Mere. I hope they bite you every day, and when they do, don't call me looking for sympathy. I'll just laugh.

Good times and great oldies

Shouting out to Katie, who came to see me and SB this weekend. Katie and I grew up together, but sadly her fam moved away when we were just kids. I missed her wedding last year due to the imminent arrival of SB, and Katie missed the birth of SB due to her honeymoon.

Since she and Dustin were coming to Starkville anyway for a wedding, we decided to make a weekend out of it. Dustin and Jack got along great, and Katie and I had a wonderful time catching up. SB really showed off for them, except when Dustin tried to hold her. Sorry about that Dustin. Maybe next time.

I feel it was a very successful weekend in that Katie and Dustin were able to
A. have a week off of their diet (cookies, pizza, beer and DS oreos),
B. meet SB, fall in love with her and
C. spend quality time with Jack and me, which of course was the highlight of their weekend.

I am only disappointed that I somehow let the weekend slip away without taking a single photo! Shame on me.

McCains, please come back soon! We are looking forward to the beach in October.

ps Katie, do we have to take the boys with us?