Friday, September 28, 2007
Growing up, MB and I were the best of friends, until I hit 6th grade and became WAY too cool for her. One thing we loved to do together was get dressed up in our brothers clothes and put hunting masks over our faces until we were certain that no one would recognize us. Then we took the guns from the Super Mario Brothers Duck Hunt game (you know what I'm talking about) and very cleverly wrapped the cords around our bodies so they wouldn't drag the floor. That would just be a dead giveaway that the guns were fake. Then sneaked down the stairs to scare our family. We never could understand how they always knew it was us. We were sure they would think we were just very short robbers.
Then there was the time that Mere decided she wanted to be a photographer. She dressed MB up in a pink outfit with a huge floppy hat and posed her on the bed with all of her stuffed animals. I sure wish I had a scanner so I could share that picture with you.
Mary Beth has always had a rather large mouth, and growing up, if she thought it, she said it. There was no filter, a fact that made my parents rather nervous in social situations. Case in point: One time we were trying to sell our house, and Mary Beth informed the rather large men that came to look at it that they were very fat indeed. Funny, we never heard back from them.
I have to give MB some credit though. At least she never hid a tape recorder under my bed, then made me tell her all the boys I had a crush on like some sister I know, who shall remain nameless.
Anyway, I love you Mary Beth. I miss you, miss you every day. Take care of yourself in Memphis, and don't go too crazy now that you're legal. I'd give you a call to let you know that I just blogged about you, but it's only 12:45, and I seriously doubt you're awake yet. Sleep on, sister. Sleep on.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Monday, September 17, 2007
- RBFs. I know you all probably thought SB would be #1, but RBFs were the first thing that came to mind. Thanks to my sister-in-law, Corrie, I now know that A&W root beer is caffeine free. So yesterday, SB and I enjoyed our first RBF since we came home from the hospital. It was delicious.
- SB. See, she made the top 2. Even when I'm dragging myself out of bed for the 3rd time at 4 am, listening to her screaming down the hall, I still love her. Even though sometimes I get really tired, every time she smiles at me, I melt. And I thought she had daddy wrapped around her little finger...
- Jack. Even though I give him a hard time on my blog, he really is the best. He has always treated me like a princess, and he has been especially wonderful since SB got here. Plus, he's really cute. Which helps. (Extra points for Jack- he made me breakfast the other day and held SB so I could eat in peace.)
- I just lost 15 pounds. This makes me very happy, even though I still look like I'm 5 months pregnant (was NOT expecting that). I can see my feet again, and now I can put my shoes and socks on all by myself without contorting myself into strange positions while holding my breath.
- No more DV. I haven't had to drink any CWP since the night before I went into the hospital! I can sleep peacefully at night, for 1 1/2 hours at a time, without waking up with my throat on fire. Score.
- The Bulldogs are 2-0 since SB was born. I knew she was smart and talented and beautiful. Who would have guessed that she is also a good luck charm? Going for 3-0 this weekend. She'll be in her cheerleader outfit for the game.
- My fam. I've got the best one in the world, seriously. Except for Meredith, who moved to practically Mexico and never comes to visit. Just kidding Mere, you know you're one of my favorite sisters.
- My mom. I know I already said my family, but seriously. I have to single her out because she's my best friend (besides Jack) and because she deserves all the special recognition I can give her. Those of you who know her don't need me to go on and on about her, but humor me. She moved in with us for a week after SB was born and took care of all the cooking, cleaning and laundry for me. All I did was take care of SB. My mom even spent her nights taking care of the baby. She woke me up every 3 hours to feed her, then sent me back to bed while she burped, changed and got SB back to bed. She's still on standby in case I want to nap or run errands.
- Murry. You didn't think I would forget Murry, did you? Of course not. The new season started this week, and it did not disappoint. One lady was one million point nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine percent sure that that "ugly ole sorry punk "was her baby's daddy. I couldn't believe it when she was wrong!
OK I know that's only 9 but I can't hold SB off any longer. Time to feed. again.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
I finally got both ends to stop spewing, managed to clean myself and SB up and get a clean diaper on her (our third one in 5 minutes).
Does she look hungry to you?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
In the end, we agreed to disagree, but settled on a compromise. I left the doors open, but I let her cry for a couple of minutes before rushing in to pick her up. She ended up doing great; after 11:00 last night, she slept for 3 hours in between feedings.
Fast forward a few hours. It's 6 am and I've just finished feeding SB. Daddy is awake and ready to play. Mr. "Let's Get Her on a Schedule" decides that she has been such a good girl all night, she deserves a little spoiling. So instead of returning her to her bassinet, he takes her to the bedroom to nap on his chest.
**Disclaimer for all you moms out there. Don't freak out. We don't let her sleep with us while we are sleeping. She only gets to cuddle in our bed when we are awake and can watch her. So relax.
I however, was not ready to play. I was ready to finish sleeping. Also, I didn't think that holding her while she was supposed to be sleeping fit in with his discipline plan very well. He won, but only because I was too tired to fight.
He also has found a clever and subtle new way of spoiling himself. Whenever he wants something but doesn't want to get it himself, he just tells SB. For example, when I woke up at 8:30 this morning, Jack told SB how much he would love a cup of coffee. Here's how it went down.
Jack: I sure would love a cup of coffee.
Jack in his best SB voice: That sounds yummy, daddy!
Jack: I sure wish mommy would go make some coffee.
Jack as SB: Maybe she would if you asked her nicely.
Jack: No, she probably doesn't want to. But she would get up and make some if she really wanted to, without me having to ask her.
I wish I had time to elaborate, but I can hear SB. She's ready for breakfast. Again.
But don't worry. I punished Jack. After I finished laughing at his lame attempt to have me make his coffee, I sighed, rolled out of bed and handed Jack SB's burp cloth. I told him I would be right back, and I could tell he thought he had won.
I came straight downstairs to blog about him instead. I can't wait until he reads this.
Monday, September 10, 2007
We had our first visit to the doctor today, and SB is doing great. She has gained an ounce and doesn't have jaundice, which Jack has been really worried about. He's so cute with her. He has been worried about her not eating enough. He actually set his alarm clock to go off every 3 hours in the night to make sure I didn't forget to wake up and feed her. As if!
Anyway, now that she has gotten a good report from the doctor, I think he will relax a little. On the bright side, he's done enough worrying for both of us, so I've been able to relax and let him take care of the "what ifs." Now if I could just get a little sleep...
Friday, September 7, 2007
Here I am heading out to the hospital on Thursday morning with my giant belly.
Jack took full advantage of our situation yesterday by running every red light on Gillespie Street while singing "Slave to the Traffic Light." He sped down Hwy 82 going about 90 mph; I think he was hoping to get pulled over so he could tell the policeman that we were on our way to the hospital. Never mind the fact that I wasn't actually in labor...we were on our way to induce...
Anyway, I don't know what all the fuss is about regarding childbirth. It was a cinch. We got to the hospital at 7, started pitocin around 8:30; four hours later, here she was! I did have to have an enema...while the doctor told me I could refuse it, I felt it might be best for SB if I went through with it. As much as I didn't want to have it done, I really didn't want to BM on the table. I don't imagine that would be a very wonderful way to meet your mommy... Welcome to the world; here's some poop for your head.
The IV was worse though. They used a ginormous needle and stuck it in the top of my hand. It hurt like heck the whole day, and they didn't take it out until nearly 5 oclock that afternoon. Give me childbirth over an IV any day.
Not to mislead anyone; the pain was pretty intense until I got the epidural. Jack was trying to talk me through the contractions, but I told him NOT to make me laugh. But he is such a natural comedian; he just couldn't help cracking a few jokes here and there. I could tell he was trying not to laugh at his own jokes while I was having contractions. I wonder if he could tell I was trying not to defenestrate him while I was having contractions.
Once the epi set in around 11:30, I went from 5 cm to 10 cm in an hour!! When the nurse asked if I was ready to push, I couldn't believe it was time already. I was like, "WHAT??" and she was like, "YEAH!" It was not unlike a Little John concert. About 10 minutes later, Sarah Beth was exercising her lungs for the first time ever. 12:40 pm. Done and done.We almost lost Jack for a few minutes when SB was ready to be born. He said he was ready to cry, faint and vom all at the same time. For a few seconds, the attention in the room shifted from me to him as my mom and the nurse tried to calm him down. Thankfully, he pulled himself together quickly and everyone's attention went back to where it belonged. on myself. Jack coached me through the final stages like a pro. He then told the doctor that SB looked like an alien when she first came out. She looked much cuter after they cleaned her up a little bit.
She weighs 6 lbs and 5 oz and is 19 inches long with dark hair and gray blue eyes. She was wide awake yesterday, taking in her new surroundings. I can't believe how cute she is. I mean, I knew she would be cute, but still. She really outdid herself. I think she looks just like her daddy.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Those of you who wish to contact us can call the hospital in West Point. We will NOT be at the Starkville hospital, so don't look there. Jack will be leaving updates on my cell phone voicemail, so you can also try that.
Unfortunately, I do not have a laptop, so I will be unable to blog during the birth. However, I plan to take a tape recorder and take notes for you that way, so when I get home, I can recount the details accurately. I am also hoping that Jack will take over some of the blogging responsibilities for me while I'm out.
I'm very sorry to leave you hanging like this, but what else can I do? We're taking it easy tonight, going to dinner with some friends then to bed early. I haven't slept in about a week, and last night was awful. SB wanted me to know that she was still doing ok, and she reassured me with her constant yoga moves, starting around 2:30 this morning. I didn't go back to sleep until Jack left at 6.
I'm praying that I get more sleep tonight, although that is doubtful. However, in my best attempt to get a good night's sleep, I've decided to pass on one final RBF after dinner tonight. I was planning on going to Bops after dinner to enjoy one after my final meal (I can't have anything after midnight), but I just can't risk the caffeine. So if you come visit in the hospital, bring RBFs. I'll probably be willing to pay top dollar for one after L&D.
While my fear of labor is seriously kicking in, my fear of motherhood is weakening. I realized the other day how great I was at playing pretend, and I think this mom thing is going to be a cinch. Here are a few examples:
- An Asian lady called the office other day, and I caught the word "roof" so I knew it wasn't a wrong number. However, that was about the only thing I understood out of her mouth. I pretended to understand everything she said. I asked her if her roof was leaking, and she gave me some numbers. Then more incoherent statements. I took it like a pro, and just said, "yes" and "I see" until she finally stopped.
- I had a serious sweet tooth one afternoon last week, and unfortunately I discovered a cadbury egg hidden under our bedside table while searching for my phone charger. I just pretended it hadn't been there since Easter and ate the whole thing. It was fabulous, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
- I also like to pretend that McDonalds is good for me. In fact, I ate there this afternoon, despite the fact that I'll probably have to weigh in again in the morning.
- A few nights ago, I was enjoying a little ice cream for dessert, but halfway through I realized I had gotten a little overzealous with the scooper and had too much in my bowl. Not a problem. I just pretended that my prenatal vitamin was hidden somewhere in the bottom of the bowl and ate the whole thing in a matter of minutes. Safety first.
- I also like to pretend that a magical house elf will take care of the laundry and general cleaning that needs to be done around the house if I just leave it long enough. So far, that one hasn't worked out to well, but at least my imagination is in full swing.
Ok, I seriously have to go now. Jack came home and scared the snake away, so it's safe to go to my car now. I still have to install the car seat and put the stroller together. I'm going to try to post some pictures of the nursery tonight before bedtime.
For the record, I'm completely terrified of snakes. I watched it from the safety of my living room window, and it slithered into the monkey grass surrounding the sidewalk, then I saw it's ugly head peeking over our front porch, watching me, taunting me, daring me to open the front door. It looked like it was very much ready to pounce on me.
I'm scared to leave the house now, because who knows where it's hiding now, waiting for me, no doubt. If anyone out there isn't too busy, I need some help over here.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
First of all, and most importantly, RBF stands for Root Beer Float, a staple in my pregnancy diet. It all started with a mass advertising campaign by Sonic, who offered their RBFs for only $.99! A steal by any standards. Their ad campaign was extremely effective; I probably contributed to about half to two-thirds of their RBF profits.
Also, thanks to a tip from Possum, I also regularly enjoy custard RBFs from Bops. I also keep a 2 liter of A&W handy as well as plenty of vanilla ice cream in case I need an emergency fix. Jack didn't believe me one day when he called and asked where I was and I told him I was on a beer run.
I thought everyone was familiar with SBTB, which obviously stands for Saved By the Bell, the best TV show EVER, except for possibly Murry (Maury Povich), until Jack asked me today what sbtb stood for. I feel as though I have truly failed as a wife, when my own husband doesn't even know sbtb. So now he does. and so do you.
I've also been known to use various pseudonymns for my never-ending bout with heartburn. It's also known as DV (devil's vomit) and the only cure, besides more cowbell, is Mylanta, aka, CWP (chalky white power). For more information, please see Heartburn Hotel.
On a brighter note, I've recently been presented with a clever new way to enjoy my CWP. I put it in the refrigerator, and when the DV hits, I pull out a shot glass, decorate it with chocolate syrup, then pour myself an icy cold shot of CWP and down it like a mudslide. MMMMM. deelish.
I think that just about covers it; however, please feel free to inquire if you're left confused. But don't blame me if I chew you out for not being up to date on the latest abbrevs. Just try and keep up.
ps: obviously, SB stands for Sarah Beth (my fetus). If you don't know that by now, you're hopeless.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Rockabye baby, still in the womb
Nine long months, your birth it did loom
But when my water breaks, the baby will fall
And out will come SB, placenta and all
I went to the doctor on Friday and had a few warning signs of toxemia. He said he felt like I would be fine to wait another week, but he would send me to the hospital if I wanted to go, and we could induce labor. What was I thinking when I said no?? I go back on Thursday, and while I am SURE that she will be here before then, if she isn't, I'm gonna man up and take the pitocin then. So I feel much relief knowing that if she doesn't come on her own this week, we're going in after her on Thursday. Hooray!