Terror in the Night

No, that is not the title of the latest Lifetime Original Movie. The terror in the story I am about to relay is very real. I am rating today's post TV14 for extreme violence and terrifying imagery.

I awoke last night around midnight to a strange sound coming from outside. As I struggled to gain consciousness, I thought I recognized the noise as gunfire. It was very loud and immediately conjured up the image of a masked gunman racing through the neighborhood, firing off rounds of a fully automatic machine gun.

Let me just interject quickly that yes, I am indeed a bit paranoid at times. I can't even stay alone at my own home at night. On the rare occasion when Jack is out of town, I have to have a babysitter. for myself, not SB.

But this was for real. I was fully awake, and I could hear the gunfire getting louder and louder as the gunman came closer and closer to our house. Maybe there was more than one crazed lunatic scampering through the streets. Perhaps dozens. I lay frozen in fear for a few minutes before getting out of bed to investigate.

I really didn't want to wake Jack because he had to get up early for work; perhaps if I tossed and turned enough, I would accidentally wake him. Then he would hear the noise too. So I rolled around a few times before getting out of bed, coughing and clearing my throat.

Worked like a charm.

Jack: What are you doing?

Me: (peering out the window) don't you hear that?

Jack: (pauses) no.

The gunmen must have moved over a few streets because the noise was barely audible at this point.

Me: There it is! Did you hear that?

Jack: no.

We went back and forth like this a few times until the gunmen headed back our way, and Jack finally heard the gun battle. He was not as worked up about it as I was, even though I made him get up and look out the window. Jack was convinced it was the neighbors playing Call of Duty with the volume turned all the way up, which was a viable explanation given our annoying neighbors. I, however, was certain something much more sinister was afoot.

Jack got back in bed, but told me that if it would make me feel better, I could call the police. I know he thought I was foolish for even worrying, but the noise was so loud! So I did my civic duty and called to report the violent activity. When the operator asked what the noise sounded like, I said it sounded like a jackhammer, because Jack made me promise that I would NOT tell the cops there was a machine gun battle going on in our neighborhood, even though I knew that's what it was.

So they sent a policeman to our street. I know this because I waited up for him. After the police sat in front of our house for about 30 seconds, the machine guns started up again, this time much closer, and the cop took off in the direction of the gunfire. I was very satisfied with myself, and began planning the interview with the newspapers that were certain to take place the next day. After all, who wouldn't want to talk to the brave person who saved the townspeople from the multitude of masked gunmen who were shooting up the neighborhood?

I hoped it wouldn't be long before the gunfire stopped. Who knew how many people were already dead or wounded? I scolded myself for not calling 911 when I first heard the shots.

A few minutes later, my phone rang. Perhaps our neighbors? Calling to make sure we were alright?

It was the police dispatcher, calling to let me know that the noise I was hearing was just our friendly neighborhood cement company, drilling the hardened concrete out of their trucks at one o'clock in the morning.

Well who looks foolish now? At first, I wanted to get Mr. Concrete around the throat for a few good minutes. But now I have a better idea. Revenge. I can see it now.

What's the matter sir? Noise wake you up? Oh, no need for concern, I'm just drilling this hardened concrete out of the back of my car. Yes, I realize it's after midnight; I've been told this is the best time for concrete removal. Terribly sorry about the noise. This should only take an hour or so.

Either that or waltz down his sidewalk with a jackhammer for a few hours. Same effect.