The Best Day Ever

Today was an ok day. At least it started off that way. I got SB down for a nap, then ran a few very important errands. (Don't freak out, my sister was here while SB was napping.) It's always a nice experience to be able to get things done without a baby in tow. I have quite a long to-do list, and it felt good to check off 3 things before 10 am.

I spent a few hours at my mother's house, and SB and I had a glorious, much needed 2 hour nap this afternoon. Then I remembered that despite a late afternoon, hour-long trip to wal mart yesterday, during which SB yelled "HEY! ME! HEY, HEEEEEEEEEEYYYY!" to every individual we saw while shopping, I was out of formula. Of course I had forgotten it yesterday, even though I walked right past it AND it was on my list.

I ran to Kroger, since it was closer and certain to be faster. They were out.

This is where the day gets good. Surprisingly enough, it was because I had to go to Wal Mart. I know I have a few new readers, and some of you may not remember this post, so I would recommend refreshing your memory before continuing. For those of you short on time, here's the quick version:

I went to wal mart one day last month to buy formula because I had a really good coupon ($10 off!) After a series of shenanigans, I finally made it to the check out line, and my checker was named Terrain. He must have been new, because it took him (and 3 other "helpful" employees) about 15 minutes of arguing before they could figure out how to use my coupon. Thanks Enfamil. It was a rather comical situation to me, but probably not to everyone else waiting behind me in the "express" lane.

Okay, back to the future. I had another good coupon for my formula ($5 this time), so off I went to purchase some. I was back at the Mart, and again, all I needed was formula. And some bottle liners that I remembered at the last second. I had a coupon for those too! A whole dollar off! It was going to be a good day, sticking it to the man with all my coupons.

I quickly located the shortest check out line, and as soon as I reached the front, I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn't believe my eyes.

It was Terrain.

Terrain, coupon-scanner extraordinaire.

What are the odds, I wondered to myself. As many times as I go to wal mart, every time a different checker. The only two times I have a coupon, I get this guy. I almost switched lines, but then I noticed that Terrain must have really been logging his hours as a coupon scanner. How could I tell? Simple. Ice. Terrain was iced from head to hands in large, sparkling diamonds. He was wearing huge diamond earrings, a diamond chain that must have been 2'' thick (with his wal mart employee ID tag hanging from it), and two diamond bracelets on each wrist.

Let's just let that sink in for a minute. I know I did.

I was confident that Terrain was going to be able to handle my coupons today.

He couldn't.

I almost videotaped myself mimicking the expression that overtook his face when I proudly presented him with my Enfamil coupon. It was a look of horror/depression/complete disappointment, followed by a frustrated grunt, "ugh."

Lucky for him, there was a Star Checker visiting with another employee in the lane right behind him, and she was all too happy to assist us. Not. She finally dragged herself over to complain about my coupon, and she told him to run it through the scanner as a check. The machine did not like it. It beeped loudly. After a few more tries and a few more beeps, the lady closely examined the check and decided that the machine wouldn't take it because I had not signed it.

An interesting assessment. When did wal mart get high tech scanners that detect ink signatures?

She produced a pen and told me to endorse the back. Now it would work. Not. I think the lady behind me was ready to give me five dollars just to get me out of there. But I wasn't backing down.

Terrain was absolutely convinced that he should treat the coupon as cash, despite the large red lettering at the top of the coupon that instructed the retailer to "treat as check."

I'm not sure how they finally figured it out, but somehow I got my discount on the formula and got out of there. I didn't realize until I got home that Terrain had kept my bottle liner coupon (which also wouldn't work). I'm thinking of going back tomorrow and asking for a dollar.