Stamps: The New Diamond.

Some say, 'A diamond is forever.' I say to you, nay. That's just what the jewelry companies want you to think. If you really want forever, buy her a Liberty Bell Stamp.


In case you haven't heard, the cost of mailing a first-class letter will increase another cent on Monday. We're up to $.42 big ones now. This just in from my father, who, after reading my last post, was kind enough to share with me this recent experience.

He went in to pay his gas bill on Monday (see, I'm not the only one who doesn't mail a check every month. Some of us prefer human interaction). But I digress. He actually had a check for his bill, which is much more convenient than paying with cash. Or so one would be inclined to think. This is not the case with Atmos Energy, as they sent him and his check packing. You can no longer pay by check at their office. The machine is not equipped to handle checks (or change for that matter).

So, according to dear old dad, this required another trip across town, to the post office (which may or may not have stamps. please see here.) and the additional expenditure of $.41 in order to mail his check to some other office in some other city that apparently has a special machine that is equipped to handle checks. Or else they have special employees who can process your payment.

The post office did have stamps in stock that day, to his delight, and he asked to purchase some. This is when the lady informed him that postage would be increasing on May 12. Starting Monday, stamps will cost $.42, unless you have the liberty bell forever stamps, which have magical powers and are worth $.41 and $.42 at the same time. How special. These things can be worth whatever you want them to be. I think I'd like mine to be worth at least $.82, so I can cut one in half and use it on 2 letters. But only until Monday.

This was very interesting news to me, so I fired myself right over to the post office to get a first hand look at these enchanted stamps. I asked the young attendant for a roll of stamps, hoping this would prompt her to inform me of the imminent price increase and tell me about the supernatural stamps. She began rummaging around underneath the counter. My heart palpitations told me for a moment that they might be out again, but she finally produced a couple for me to peruse.

She still hadn't given up any information, so I decided to go for it.

Me: "Did I hear that the price of stamps is going up again?"
Her: "Yes; it's going up on Monday. They'll be $.42."
Me: "So these stamps won't be any good anymore, starting next week?"
Her: "Well, you can buy one-cent stamps and just put one of those on next to it."

pause. then finally, it all came out.

Her: "Or you can buy these liberty bell stamps. They're forever stamps, which means they'll always work, no matter how much postage goes up."

I looked at the pretty American flag stamps on my left and then at the "forever" stamps on my right.

Me: So I can buy either one now, for the same price, except one of these won't work anymore starting Monday, but the other one will always work? Hmm. That's a tough decision. I really like these flag ones, but then again, I suppose the purpose of the stamp is to mail a letter, and since the flags don't do that anymore, and I'm no philatelist, I guess I'll go with the forever stamps.

So now you know, America. This is your last chance to get stamps for 41 cents. We've got the government's promise that these magical stamps are always gonna get the job done, no one-cent stamps required. And we all know the government doesn't lie.

GAS BILL UPDATE: THIRD TIME'S A CHARM

Thanks to all of you who expressed such deep concern for me while I was having such a hard time getting my bill paid. No, we weren't short on cash, I just couldn't get the people to take my money. Finally, on my third trip in, with the baby on my hip, I was able to work it out.

The machine was working, and I had the right amount ready for it. There is a convenient scanner where you can just scan your bill, and the machine knows how much you owe. It does not, however, know who you are, as it asked for my name, my birthday, my social security number AND my phone number. What the heck? I just want to give you some money, not take out a mortgage! After confirming my identity seven different ways, it took my money and ten minutes later, I had a receipt: proof that I had conquered the machine.