It's Beginning to Smell a Lot Like Christmas

No need to sit on Santa's lap this year. Not that SB would ever dare come close to such a frightening figure such as Santa Claus, but as it turns out, we didn't need him to ask what she wanted for Christmas this year. Sarah Beth made up her mind a long time ago, and she will not be swayed.

I noticed lately whenever she is watching cartoons, she pays just as much attention to the advertisements as she does the actual cartoon. And she wants everything.

Mom! Come look at this! Can you pause it?? I want that! Look, Mom, look!

Like I said, she wants just about everything she sees advertised. However, there is one toy on the market that has made an especially lingering impression on my animal loving daughter.

At first, I wasn't certain I was hearing her correctly. I dismissed it the first few times she mentioned it, but persistence finally won out, and I was left with no choice but to investigate. I google searched, "toy dog that poops" and SB wasn't lying, nor was my hearing impaired.

WARNING: If you are easily grossed out, please stop reading now. Go pick up an LL Bean catalog and see how fast you can go through it and figure out which items are new from last months edition. Don't watch this video.



SB calls it the poop dog and has made a game of going about the house, yelling "poop dog!" in each room until she finds me. Just to let me know she hasn't forgotten about it. SB is for some strange reason delighted with the idea of watching a dog poop, cleaning it up and then feeding it back to the dog. I was so horrified at what I saw that I told SB there was no way I was ever getting her any toy that pooped. I told her it was gross and to forget about it.

She didn't.

She was talking to Jack's grandmother on the phone last week and only uttered 5 words before I had to yank the phone away. His grandparents have a dog named Wags and a cat named Kit. SB always asks about them whenever they speak on the phone.

Me: Here, SB, say hi to Gran.
SB: Wags!
Gran told her that Wags was outside and would love to play with her next time she came over.
SB: Kitty cat!
Gran told her that Kit was outside too and would see her at Christmas.
SB: Poop dog!

I guess Christmas is the trigger word for this new Pavlovian response. I frantically grabbed at the phone and prayed the translation had been lost over the telephone wires. SB kept yelling in the background while she danced down the hallway, "poop dog! poop dog! poop dog!" I ran in the other direction, explaining that SB was kind of busy and couldn't really talk at the moment.

I had a few friends over earlier this week, and SB enjoyed playing with their kids while we visited. The next day, one mother called me to say that her son had been asking for a poop dog ever since they left our house. (This happened to be the same mother whos lipstick SB was wearing last Saturday night after dumping out her purse. I don't supposed we will be getting any more dinner invites from them for a while.)

And imagine my humiliation whenever a kind old lady in the grocery line asks SB what she wants for Christmas.

"Poop dog!" She always yells with such enthusiasm. Then they look at me with disdain and quickly select another line. How do you respond to that? I know what they're thinking, what a horrible mother I am for a child to say such a thing. But don't blame me! Blame it on Mattel!

I, like every other good parent, went to Wal Mart at midnight on Thanksgiving in order to secure for my child the best toy for Christmas. I was so excited for her to open up a Barbie Jeep on Christmas morning. I was sure she would be delighted and insist on taking it for a spin around the block despite the freezing weather. I would, of course, oblige and happily chase her down the street while she sped around the block, the happiest little girl in town.

Now I'm plagued by nightmares that SB will rip into the barbie jeep and move right past it in search of her beloved poop dog.

So if you see us out this Christmas season, do me a favor and don't ask SB what she wants for Christmas. And say a prayer that the power of the Barbie Jeep will be enough to overwhelm any feelings for the poop dog.